Its been 28 days Arwah left this world. Only ALLAH knows how i feel right now. But alhamdulillah i feel little better.. With friends, our family, cliques and even strangers who always pray for my doing and arwah too. Hanya Tuhan saja dapat membalas jasa mereka.
Since 1st april, i'd been sleeping together with soccer jersey that belong to him. Not everyday,but almost everyday. On that day, went to sengkang and visited his family. As usual, we entered his room, sat on the floor and talked about arwah. At times, i cant control emotions. But alhamdulillah i able to stop my tears from tearing. I don't want to cry in front of his aunties. We had dinner together with busu family, arwah's brother and dad. When i wanted to go home, Mama passed a brown plastic and when i checked it, saw arwah yellow jersey. Mixed feelings that moment. Happy,joy,excited and downhearted. Before this, i'd talked to Mama and seek for permission to let me have the jersey. But she asked me to wait after his 40 days. And i'm okay with it. Kinda speechless when she gave it to me and asked me to keep with me. Thanks Mama :')
I cry myself to sleep when i slept with his jersey for the very first time.i didnt know why i have been keep thinking of him lately for like every minute.Questions lingering in my mind. But i know that a good, long session of weeping can often make me feel better, even if my circumstances have not changed one bit. And the best was crying all night together with his jersey. This shirt brings me alot of memories. Our first time meet up at Tamp safra,came down to support his soccer match.He wore this jersey. Sadly the last time i saw him wearing this jersey on his last day when he's gone,lying down on the bed with no heartbeat,closed eyes,pale and lifeless..what a coincidence where he wore this jersey on my first and the last time of seeing him. I really want to visit you,dear. Insya'allah. ♥
Occupy my time with works. Been working all out. But i will always find a time to recite al-quran and surah. Especially when i miss arwah badly.
Allah puts people in your life for a reason and removes them from your life for a better reason. Allah’s plans are unpredictable. When He doesn’t give you what you want, He must have another better plan for you. Have faith.
“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” (Quran 2 : 216).
“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” (Quran 2 : 216).
