How i wish i have the courage to shout to this world how much i miss you. How bad i need you this time, how i wish you could hug me and says everything will be fine. HOW I WISH! But i know this won't happen to me. Indeed i should just stop hoping and get over it. I need to let it out this cos i can't stand it anymore.
You know what, the feeling of guiltiness is getting bigger and the burden on me that i can't cope is killing me. I never wish this could happened to me. I never expect this gonna end so soon. I wanna do everything together with you. From a stranger, to friend, to a close one and now you're special in my heart. Everyday i will check my phone to see if your name appear on my screen. First thing i do before i sleep and after i wake up.Its like a daily routine for me.Sadly,no. I have the thought of meeting you and talk things out. But i do not have the courage to do so. Why? Im afraid you will leave me without listening to my explanation . You will even ask me to leave .. We're big enough to think what is right and wrong. We're mature enough to solve this problems instead leaving them hanging just like that.Forgiving someone doesn't make us weak. It make us strong enough because you understand that everyone makes mistakes.
Everyone deserve a second chance, don't we? Look at you right now. Compare yourself in the past and the present one. There are much different and i'm so proud of you. I believe people make mistakes, and sometimes a second chance can make things right.
Tell me what should i do? What i can do for you so that you could forgive me for hurting you? There are times i'm mad at you. But most of the time,i still care for you,missing you every minutes. I've lost someone who i love so much and he wont come back. I don't wish to lose another one who is so important to me and need him always.
If you could remember one of the night where we went for Strictly Pancake date, and we sat at the Clark Quay and i expressed my feelings . I was tearing while expressing them. To let you know how afraid am i to lose someone like you. Do you remember that,dear? I always thankful to Allah swt for having you in my life. I never blame your presence indeed i cherish and appreciate it. Its a blessful moments . You should know by then how much i need you and afraid of losing you.
Having you is a miracle to me. Your presence help me in lots of ways. You helped me by giving me those moral supports,encouragements,motivations, made me smile, always be there for me and helping me to let go for my late boyfriend. Without you, i think i will be still hanging my thoughts with Arwah. At least i manage to move on abit though it takes time. I think without you, i will still think about Arwah all the time, crying over him and never let him go. Hirah rasa bersalah kepada Arwah . Hirah tahu Arwah terseksa kerana hirah masih belum dapat lepaskannya dengan sepenuh hati.But life must go one and one day i have to let go of him fully.
Furthermore this is for my own goods. I feel guilty towards you. Very! And you shouldn't blame yourself, please don't. Ini semua ketentuan Allah . Allah leads us the way. Allah yang berikan kawan dan teman buat kita semua. If you choose to stay away from me and keep blaming yourself, that means you salahkan ketentuan dan takdir yang Allah berikan . I never ask that much from you. All i need from you right now is to stop giving me a silent treatment. Do you know how seksa the feelings when a person who is so special to you, who treat you so well and it stop out of nowhere.
Hirah always pray for your happiness and plead to Allah to soften your heart. I know you're heartbroken due to our arguements. Bukan ke itu semua pahit dan manis dalam kehidupan?


I read one of his post.  If its really referring to me, i thank Allah and you for having a very good intention and niat. Syukur alhamdulillah. But if its for another a lady, well.. i need to back and do not want to spoil your plan though it will be very hard for me. But i will still pray for your happiness and may you get what you want. Mungkin kalau dia bukan jodohku, mungkin kita boleh jadi teman baik. Thats why i cried after read the post. Because i never knew it is meant for me or for someone else.

Just to let you know, i've already forgive you and i will like to apologise for the mistakes that i had done from the start we knew each other till now. I hope you could accept my apology.