When the incident occur at the first place, I was really lost.. Cos it was so sudden. But now I have the answer with me. Maybe the reason he did this because he have someone else in his heart that he have been waiting for long. His soul mate. of course I feel heartbroken and heart wrenching. Furthermore I have no right to stop him. But I just wondering at the first place he expressed his feelings for me while he knows that he's still waiting for that girl? So am I just his part-time happiness? Well...I guess so. Questions have been lingering in my mind. Who started all this? Who gave the hope? Why did he promised me so many things when he actually not ready? Who am I to him? Why he did that? What am I suppose to do? Sigh.. I can't lei to myself. I was crying badly in the train when I saw "it"... Hands were trembling.  I think I shouldn't send him that long message if I knew about "it" first. And now I regret.Hirah rasa Macam tk tahu malu. Terhegeh-hegeh. It takes two hands to clap, am I right? So starting from now onwards, I need to remind myself I'm nothing to him. No wonder he kept saying not the right time. And he need more time to think. Maybe he deciding.
If you read this, I just wanna let you know, I shouldn't expect high hopes on you. All those hopes and promises are nothing to me anymore. Meaningless. So here I am, letting it go slowly though it will be very hard for me. And I need to prepare myself for the worst. Suffering from all this maybe. Maybe this time round I have to be independent and not to rely on anyone.
And I miss you.